The 28 Weird Things I Admit as a Dog Owner

Every time I open my Facebook, I am bombarded by posts about dogs. And I love it! I recently came across and shared a post by Buzz Feed, listing the 35 weird things dog owners have secretly done. But on Marlee and Me Blog, there are no secrets. So, I have replied to 28 out of the 35 items mentioned. Continue below. I am not ashamed to be a dog obsessed owner, and neither should you.

1. Call your dog by a nickname more often than you use their actual name.

His name is Duke, but he is more commonly known to me as Dukie and Bubs. Zach likes to call him Batman, as you learned from a previous post why, and Scooter, after Scooter Crunch Bars, because he sure does love ice cream.

2. Have several varieties of that nickname that get weirder and weirder as time goes on.

Sometimes it is just Dukie, and other times it is Dukie Wookie – no idea where the Wookie part came from. Sometimes I even go as far as calling him Dukie Wookie the Cutie. Definitely gets longer and weirder, and trust me, Dukie Wookie the Cutie thinks it’s strange too.

3. Make up songs about your dog.

Oh, Zach and I love making up songs about Duke all the time. We have recently been singing the Batman theme song as he enters the room. Other than that, I like to sing “Dukie is a Cutie – With a little black Bootie. This is sung to the tune of the Jeepers Creepers song. Not sure why – they are definitely not similar. Anyway, I sing it all the time and have added in some appropriate dance moves.

4. Or put their name into songs that are already popular.

Instead of Brown Eyed girl, I like to sing Brown Eyed Dog. Very appropriate. Pretty much any song on the radio, I can change to be about Duke, and trust me, it happens often.

5. Lie on the floor to see what they would do if you fainted.

He sits on me. No, not beside me. On me. I think that is his way of showing love…at least I hope. Let’s just say, if I was actually in trouble, I don’t think sitting on top of me would be very beneficial, but hey, at least he tried.

6. Do a photo shoot of your dog every time they fall asleep.

I do a photo shoot of Duke every time he does anything, well accept pooping. I don’t document that. But yes, when he falls asleep, he is adorable, and I most definitely snap quite a few pictures. Until he wakes up and gives me that popular hate glare you see in some of his pictures.

7. Hold their paws because the paw pads are all squidgy.

I hold his paws when we are snuggled in bed at night. You know, just so he knows I am there.

8. Stare at them and wonder what they’re thinking…

Oh, all the time. He thinks I am a freak. Especially when I tear up thinking about how much I love him or how life before him or life after him was and will be meaningless. I am pathetic

9. …like if they KNOW you’re their owner…

Oh, he knows.

10. …and whether they like you.

He for sure loves me.
11. Feel offended if nobody asks to pet your dog when you take them out for a walk.

That never happens. He is a babe magnet.

12. Show them what they look like on your phone front camera.

He avoids looking at the camera at all costs. Unless there is a treat enticing him. People think he is photogenic, but they haven’t seen the “behind the scene” attempts.

13. Be shocked that they’re “nude” whenever you take their collar off.

Every night. Never gets old. He always looks so sad when his collar comes off. As if he isn’t owned anymore. Very dramatic.

14. Remember important milestones in your dog’s life better than you remember your own.

Oh, of course. I have this blog to thank for every event that we have documented. Notice I said “we,” as if Duke really writes some of the blog posts.

15. Flip your dog’s ears back and compliment them on their hairstyle.

Zach does this. He thinks it is hilarious. Duke, not so much.

16. Feel upset when your dog sits by someone else other than you.

Most definitely. I do everything for that dog, and the fact that he likes to snuggle up to Zach more in bed, is appalling. I think it is just because he makes a better pillow. Yea, we will go with that.

17. Point at the TV whenever dogs are on to see their reaction.

Oh yea. He loved watching “The Secret Life of Pets” with me and “A Dog’s Purpose,” where I just bawled my eyes out on his fur, acting like Duke was all emotional too. He wasn’t, He was just sleeping.

18. Think every dog that’s the same breed as yours could be a distant relative.

Nope, Duke is one of a kind. No one is as cute as him or as great as him.

19. Say “bless you” when they sneeze.

Yes, I have to be an example to him of how you have manners. He can’t grow up to be rude. Plus I like to say “Oh my, you are sleeeeepy,” every time he yawns.

20. Avoid getting up to do something because it would mean your dog has to move from their comfy position.

It’s the most heart breaking thing. Don’t do it. Just don’t move…EVER!

21. Ask to be put on the phone to your dog when you’re away from them.<div

I try to facetime him all the time. He never knows what is going on.

22. Try to trick your dog when they won’t give you the ball during fetch, by acting like you don’t want it anyway.

Nope. All I have to do is bend down and stare into his sweet eyes. He drops it right away.

23. Feel proud when your dog pees outside even though they’ve been housetrained for ages.

You always have to be the proud parent. Plus he gets a treat every time. Man, he pees like a hose though!

24. Say that your dog “made a friend today” every time they spend more than 10 seconds with another dog.

Or will the little girl Emma who brings him milk bones every time we walk.

25. Drop a little bit of food on the floor and debate whether you should clean it up or let your living-vacuum dog get to it first.

There is no debate. He gets anything that drops. Heck, he gets food even when it doesn’t drop. Plus, he doesn’t really give you a choice. He attacks it before you can think about cleaning it up.

26. And talk to them in a baby voice that you’d be embarrassed if anyone else ever heard.

I am not embarrassed. Zach, doesn’t like it.

27. Put off a socialising thing because you’d rather be at home with them.

This may or may not be true… Okay, it’s true.

28. And call your dog a baby no matter how old and big they get.

He is my baby. Always will be.

Now come on – all you dog owners have some things to confess. I would like to hear some of your responses to this. Please share. We can laugh with each other and at each other, all at the same time.

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