Hats Off to You, Dr. Seuss

Today is not only Read Across America Day, but it is also Dr. Seuss Day. I mean, the two kind of go hand in hand. Be honest, no one as a kid, would have started to read anything if it wasn’t for Dr. Seuss and his catchy rhymes. I mean he was the real Slim Shady back in the day. A more clean and kid friendly Slim Shady. But he spit out those rhymes like no one else, and he had a huge impact on children across the country.

So in honor of today, I am going to let Duke take over, and give his reactions to some of Dr. Seuss’s quotes in his best sellers.


“I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them Sam I am..”

Well for one, my name is not Sam, it’s Duke. And two, I will eat just about anything, so bring those green eggs and ham my way, if this Sam character is just going to be wasteful.

“A person’s a person no matter how small.

So stop with the short jokes people. My mom and Aunt Brandi are people, although they look like midgets.

“You’re in pretty good shape for the shape you are in.”

Throw that diet out the window. Eat all the cookies and pizza you can. Because even if you’re a circular shape, you make a pretty good looking circle, and I bet you’re a lot more satisfied.

“Why fit in when you were born to stand out.” 

Be weird. Be crazy. Be yourself. The people that judge you, are just jealous they are not as fabulous.

“To the world you may be on person, but to one person you may be the World.”

Yes, I have to be a little sentimental and corny. I’m sorry. But my mom is one small little person, some may even say a midget, like I mentioned before, but she is the biggest and best part of my life. I’m sure you all have people like that in your life.

“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” 

Okay, this one is total bull crap if we are talking about finishing the last piece of pizza. That is sad stuff, and I won’t smile again, until there is another pizza in front of my face.

“You’ll miss the best things if you keep your eyes shut.”  

I don’t mean to be negative, but wouldn’t this make us sleep deprived. I think people go nuts, or even die, due to lack of sleep. Come on man, we can’t keep our eyes open all the time. Just isn’t logical.

“You’re off to great places. Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So…get on your way!”

No offense, but I’m not prepared for that. I don’t have any mountain climbing equipment. They didn’t send any of that in my last BarkBox, so the mountain might have to keep waiting.

“These Things will not bite you. They want to have fun. Then, out of the box, came Thing Two and Thing One.”

Okay, no offense, I’m sure they are nice creatures, but you simply cannot trust something with blue hair. Also, when someone tells you they don’t bite, I feel like they possibly could still bite. Yea, I’m not sure what kind of shot covers a Thing One bite.

Sleep is like the unicorn – it is rumored to exist, but I doubt I will see any.”

Sorry for your luck Dr. Seuss, but I see sleep at least five times a day. I guess I found the unicorn.

“Kid, you’ll move mountains.”

I mean, I guess you can try, but I’m not sure you’ll see much progress.

“With your head full of brains, and your shoes full of feet, you’re too smart to go down a not-so-good-street.”

But what if Siri get the directions screwed up. It’s happened before.

“Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.”

Well we will never know how simple the answers are, because apparently, we will never be able to answer the question. This just makes everyone feel dumb.

“One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.”

Hmmm, I don’t know which one would taste better. Which one do you recommend. And is there some kind of two fish for one fish special today?  


Okay, so I am not sure Duke really grasped a lot of what Dr. Seuss was saying. At least it made for a great read. If you want a human’s take on some of his books, click here for my post from last year.

One thing we both agree on, Dr. Seuss was, is, and will always be the man. The man who encourages children all across America to read, and to actually enjoy it. Thanks, Dr. Seuss.


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