Air-Bagging, Tea-Bagging, Poop-Bagging 

Today, I want to take you back to the first day we brought Duke home. Well actually, I want to take you back to the first 30 minutes we brought Duke home. 

No, this is not a sappy, lovey dovey post. This post, my friends, is all about humor and a whole lot of laughter. And after my last post, the mood could be lightened up a bit. 

We will start with the car ride home. Oh, what an interesting car ride that was. As you all know from past posts, as well as Instagram pictures, Duke absolutely loves car rides. He literally leaps in the air with joy every time the word car ride is uttered. 

Well, that first car ride home was something special and was slightly unique to every other car ride we have experienced since then. 

Duke naturally was nervous being in a car, going to an unfamiliar place, with people he had just met. We had Zach driving my car, dog father Ben in the front seat, and I was of course in the back, gushing over the fact that I was officially bringing a dog of my own home. 

Well, I guess Duke got tired of being gushed over, and decided it would be a great idea to jump over top the passenger seat head rest, right on to Ben’s lap, all while Zach was driving. A possible disaster in the making. I knew Duke was a little leery about us, but I didn’t think he had a car hijac and murder planned for the first day. Anyway, lucky for us, no accident happened. 

He stayed on Ben’s lap for about 5 minutes, before deciding, he wanted to come back to the back with me. Without warning, he leaped over Ben’s head and the head rest to get back. In mid air, Duke’s newly snipped, stitched, and swelled equipment drug right across Ben’s face and forehead. I bet he never thought he would be tea-bagged by a canine in his lifetime. 

Zach and I busted out laughing, while Ben was choking over the doggy pubes that he had swallowed. He didn’t find it as funny.  

After a 20 minute car ride full of tea-bags and almost some air bags, we finally pulled into our apartment complex. 

We took Duke inside the house, and then made another trip out to the car to bring the rest of the stuff inside. However, I forgot to fully latch the screen door. Next thing we know, Duke busted out of the door, and ran full force down the road. 

I just stood in shock, crying by the car. Like, I’m talking, Kim Kardashian ugly tears. I thought that Duke was going to run away or get hit by a car, literally 30 minutes after I had signed the adoption papers. Up until this point, I have not told too many people about this incident. I didn’t want people thinking I was a bad mother. 

Anyway, Zach dropped everything from his hands and started bolting in the direction that Duke ran. After I pulled myself together, I followed behind. Let me tell you, I was not in shape to be chasing full force after a dog. And I didn’t have my inhaler with me. 

Finally, Duke was in sight. He was standing under a tree. Zach ran over to him, only to have Duke run faster away again. We soon found out that Duke thought it was some kind of game. He got a lot of enjoyment out of watching us run like amateur track stars after him, only to start huffing and puffing uncontrollably. 

So this sherade continued for a solid 10 minutes. Finally, we saw Duke under yet another tree. This time when we approached him, he did not move. Only because he was squatted down in poop position. Hey, I guess he wanted some privacy. I don’t blame him. Don’t worry, we cleaned it up with our new blue poop bags. 

Zach let him finish his “business,” before grabbing him by the collar and leading him home. 

Yes, he did get scolded by Zach. And yes, as you can probably guess, he got hugged and kissed by me. What can I say, I was emotional.  

The mixed reactions to him running away is probably why it happened again. Not one more time, but three or four more times. Once, when Zach was in nothing but his work socks. 

But, we will save that tale for a different day. 

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