The Life Lessons my 88 Year Old Grandma has Taught Me. 

You are now 88 years old. Wow, it’s true what they say. Time really does fly when you’re having fun. 

You always were a blast. I remember times when Brandi and I didn’t want to leave your house because we were enjoying ourselves so much. Mom and dad had to force us to come over. We never stayed away for too long though. We just couldn’t. With you, we always had the time of our lives. 

And we learned a lot from you. Not only were you fun, but you were wise. The life lessons we have gained from you over our 24 years have always stuck with us, and they will continue to do so. 

I think it’s now time to share some of these life lessons with the rest of the world. After all, I wouldn’t want them to be deprived of the wise words of such an amazing woman. So on your 88th birthday, I will gift my readers with a little MeMe wisdom. 

1. Mind your manners. MeMe used to always tell us: “Always say please and thank you.” And her most infamous one: “Tables are made for glasses, not asses.” Man, all Brandi and I wanted to do was be up on the table, closer to all the cookie action. Finally, she taught us to always kill people with kindness, even if they don’t deserve it. “Trust me,” she would say. “There are a lot of people who don’t deserve it, but don’t let them know that.” 

2. Own what the good Lord gave you. You could never be body conscious around grandma. If you made one bad comment about yourself, she would say : “Now, you’re built like a brick shithouse, and not even a brick out of place.” At first, I wasn’t sure if that phrase was a compliment. I quickly learned it was one of the highest. 

3. Always be a lady when using the restroom. Don’t announce to the world about “your business.” If you must tell them about using the restroom, always say: “I have to shake the dew off of my lily.” MeMe said that always makes it sound more polite and lady like. And when you’re done, remember this: “If you sprinkle while you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie.” 

4. Always separate the end pieces of the puzzle from the rest of them. Why make things harder on yourself. Have some patience. Take the time to make things easier on yourself. If you don’t have the time of day to separate your puzzle pieces, then you need to slow it down. Who knew putting a puzzle together could teach you so much. 

5. The bigger the pancake the better. Why waste the space in your skillet. Fill that sucker up with batter. Don’t leave a spot untouched. Plus you will feel so much better about yourself. It will trick your mind into thinking you ate less, when in fact, you probably engulfed the same amount, if not more.

6. You must try all food before turning your nose up to it. If grandma told you to try something, you better try it. If you say, “No, I don’t like it,” she would come back with, “How do you know? You haven’t even tried it.” Fair enough. So open your mouth and try it. If then you don’t like it, it’s acceptable. 

7. There is nothing better than homemade apple butter and jelly. Enough said. 

8. Walking barefoot is good for you. It will make you and your feet tough, MeMe would always say. If you don’t want to be ticklish, toughen up those soft feet. Plus, there is nothing better than walking barefoot on a hot summer day. 

9. Cold coffee is sometimes better than hot. I know it sounds crazy, but it’s true. Still get the flavor without having to worry about scorching your taste buds. 

10. Finally, always have fun and laugh a lot. Don’t take things too seriously. Dance around the living room listening to an old record player blaring Willie Nelson. Go skinny dipping in the middle of the day. Do whatever you have to do to make life enjoyable. After all, you only have one go at it. Make it worth it. 

So there you go. A lot of wise advice to take with you through your life. Just remember, my grandma is now 88 years old, and so far her advice has worked for her. 

Happy Birthday MeMe. You are always so much fun and oh so wise. 

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