An Ode by a Dog

If I ran for President, I would definitely win. Not just because of my handsome looks, amazing hair, or trustworthy grin. 

For one, it would be because I have nothing to hide. No deleted emails or secrets happening on the inside. 

No I’m not like Hillary. I don’t cheat, steal, or lie. I don’t just sit back and relax, while innocent people die. 

The only secret I have, is that I like to pass gas. And then blame the closest human, for a good belly-aching laugh. 

 The second reason is because I have normal hair. No toupee that could blow off with the slightest gust of air. 

I don’t look like a clown dressed up in a suit. In fact, I have women tell me everyday how I’m so daper and cute. 

And that’s another thing that makes me better than the rest. I think women are great, and I treat everyone of them with respect. 

I also love babies, and would never let them die. Even if they weren’t yet born and were still on the inside. 

I’m sorry Hillary, I just don’t understand. How you can say you are for the children, but then want abortion in this country to still stand. 

I would say let all the babies get a chance at life. And if the birth mother doesn’t want them, give them to a nice husband and wife. 

Who would give anything to have a chance. At raising a beautiful baby to play ball with, cuddle with, or share with a  first dance. 

And finally, you can all rest your heads. Knowing that everyone of you will be able to afford a warm house, dinner for your family, and nice warm beds. 

After all, I won’t steal your money. I’m not a crook or a theif. All I need for myself are some treats, squeaky toys, and my kibbles and beef. 

So, if I ran for President, I would definitely win. Not just because of my handsome looks, amazing hair, or trustworthy grin. 

It’s slightly because I have morals and mostly because I’m not either of the others in line. Isn’t is sad, that this country would be better off, in the hands of a canine. 

Now before my ode ends, I’ll leave everyone with this last note. Please, for the sake of this country, be smart. Get out and vote. 

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