Summer is officially here everyone, and of course you all are so excited! It’s time to trade in your school uniform for a swim suit, start sipping Pina Coladas by the pool, and of course stay up till 2 am hanging out with friends. It’s going to be the best three months of your year.
So while you are all out soaking up the sun and doing all those human activities, dogs like me are planning out our summer. Of course you’re all wondering what canines could possibly do during the summer months. Well, have no fear, because I’m about to lay out my summer bucket list for all you readers.
Work on my golf game. I’m going to be better than Jordan Speith by the end of the summer. Plus I’m already like ten times more attractive. My plan is to have all the female canines chasing my tail due to my smooth moves and my perfect swing. Need to find me? I’ll be on hole 18 sipping a brewski.
Join a baseball league. Oh no, I’m not stopping at golf. I’m taking over the game of baseball too. The Pirates will be recruiting me when they see how many homers I can produce. And if I haven’t said it already, I look mighty cute in a baseball cap.
Work on my summer body. Yea right, who am I kidding. I am going to chow down and pig out as much as possible. I’m hoping to mooch all the pizza crust and ice cream cake off of Zach and Marlee that I possibly can. Don’t worry ladies, my metabolism is on point. I can eat all I want and still look masculine, sexy, and chiseled.
Have a summer romance. So if you’ve read previous blog posts, you know I’m getting pretty serious with this girl named Bella. Boy is she a cutie. However, I’m looking to take things to the next level- get more serious and a little more romantic. Butt sniffing and carpet wrestling just isn’t cutting it anymore. I’m going to really wine and dine her. Or as us dogs would say water and kibble her. Who knows, by the end of the summer, I might pop the question.
Work on my summer tan. Just like you humans, I enjoy spending my afternoon basking in the sun. Women like their dogs tall, dark, and handsome, so I got to give them what they want. My feet, chest, and neck are a little pasty right now, but by the end of the summer, I’ll be a whole new dog. Watch out ladies, I’m a tall drink of refreshing and cool water – who am I kidding, I’m a tall drink of refreshing and scolding hot water.