What is a big brother…
A big brother is a bully. Someone who pushes you around because he is older and bigger than you. If he’s like my older brother, he will chase you all around the house and whip you with wet towels. He will push you in the toilet bowl when you are potty training. He will make you run for your life, screaming all the while.
A big brother is an attention seeker. Always jealous that the newest addition to the family has to get more one-on-one time with mom and dad. If he’s like my older brother, he will refuse to go to the hospital to see his new baby sisters unless he is bribed with a McDonald’s Happy Meal. He will not accept them coming home from the hospital unless he is taken to the circus. And he will scream through the sisters’ birthday parties unless he also has gifts to open.
A big brother is sometimes annoying. Even though they will disagree and say the little siblings are the annoying ones. If he’s like my brother, he will listen to his screamo music in his room and car way too loud. He will sleep through his screeching alarm that goes off for ten continuous minutes at 7am. He will take way too much time in the bathroom getting all of his “business” done. He will slow down the Internet way too much playing Call Of Duty for six hours straight.
And while a big brother is all these negative things, he is also so much more.
A big brother is a protector. Always looking out for his younger siblings. If he’s like my big brother, he will punch his own best friend in the face because of a dumb comment he made about one of his sisters. He will give the stink eye and the cold shoulder to any boyfriend who has ever hurt any of his sisters. He will make sure that they are at home and safe every time a fire whistle goes off.
A big brother is a leader and a role model. Younger siblings are always looking up to them hoping to be as awesome as they are one day. If he’s like my big brother, he will be way too smart for his own good. He will have the biggest heart that you could ever have. And of course he will have the coolest style, the coolest friends, and he will listen to the coolest music.
A big brother teaches you important life lessons. Ones that you can not make it through life without. If he’s like my big brother, he will teach you how to change an empty toilet paper roll, by putting the empty one in your sink to find when you are brushing your teeth. He will teach you the importance of locking the bedroom door, by the many times he has chased you in there. He will teach you not to mouth off to mom or dad. And he will teach you how to make the perfect bowl of Mac N’ Cheese. Honestly, these are all super important.
And finally, a big brother is a best friend. Someone you can always count on. If he’s like my big brother, he will listen to you whine and cry about how unfair mom and dad are being, how dumb your friends at school are, and how horrible your ex boyfriend is. He will give you advice on any situation you are dealing with. He will text you out of the blue just to tell you “I love you.” He will come over for dinner, knowing that he is going to have to play Phase 10 or Banagrams with you for a full straight hour or two.
So yea, big brothers are awful. They are mean, annoying, and most of the time grumpy. But they are also amazing, caring, loving, protective, and awesome.
And my big brother is all of the things listed above and more. I don’t know how anyone survives in this life without someone as amazing as my big brother.
Happy Birthday Travis. I love you more than you could ever know.