Let’s party people…and dogs. Oh wait, I already did. In fact, I partied quite hard last night, and if you’re reading this blog post and you were not at my party, I am warning you now that you will be mad you didn’t come. It was top notch.
It started off with a win from the Pittsburgh Penguins. I’m not really sure what that means, but it seemed like all the humans were happy. Everyone started out in a good mood, which is exactly what I like to see.
Then the real party began. We all started acting like animals, both literally and figuratively. There were five actual dogs and about eight ‘dogs,’ meaning guys, and about five of our dog moms. The actual dogs were running around frantically, chasing after balls, wrestling each other to the ground, and fighting over the human’s attention and food. It got pretty crazy. The humans were all still pretty pumped from the hockey game, so there was a lot of yelling, drinking, and gorging coming from them. They don’t know how to party like us dogs know how to party – but they did okay.
After what seemed like endless hours of playing, Marlee finally arrived with the goodies – food, snacks, cake, and of course the ‘pawty’ favors for myself and my other hairy companions. I have to say her display was on point.
The chips went fast. Humans don’t know how to control themselves around Doritos and Helluva Good Dip. I have to admit, I think some of the dogs snuck one or two or possibly twenty chips. I guess our humans will figure that out today when we ask to go outside to the restroom about ten times.
Then grilling began and the cheeseburgers and hot dogs – and no, I’m not talking about me – started piling up. Unfortunately for us dogs, we were gated out in the yard, unable to snatch any of the meat away from those greedy humans’ grasps. They were stuffing their faces to the sound of us dogs panting and salivating outside of the closed gate. I can’t believe not one of us got a nibble – how rude.
After they were done being completely selfish, they did decide to play the “toss treats out into the yard and watch the dogs race after them and tackle each other for them” game. It got pretty intense. Most of the time it was Sadie, the Husky mix, who beat everyone to it. And trust me, she wasn’t about sharing either, not even with me, the boy we were all celebrating. Sometimes she even ripped them out of the other dogs’ mouth. Didn’t even get time to chew them. The picture below shows some of us waiting for the first treat to be catipulted into the yard.
Then it was time for the best part of the night – the cake. Of course Marlee had to get a dog friendly vanilla cake from the bakery and also had to embarrass me by plastering my name all over it. She even made us get a picture together. Talk about torture.
But to get back at her for the embarrassment, I took matters into my own paws, or should I say tongue. I pretty much attacked the whole cake with my slobber. Had to make sure us dogs got all the cake, after the humans refused to share their meat with us. But come on, the picture below is pretty adorable.
Even the humans were all pretty frustrated with my “licking the cake” actions, they still decided to sing to me. I would have been insulted if they didn’t. Plus, I was still planning on sharing with them, as long as they didn’t mind the added ingredient of slobber. You can watch the Birthday Song Video at the bottom of the post.
The rest of the night was pretty uneventful, except for the fact that two dogs kept trying to attack me sexually while my girlfriend and mom were both there. I was not interested in that at all – but what could I do? – I know I’m pretty hard not to be attracted to. Other than that, we just enjoyed a fire, good conversation, and course a little more time of playing together. But after that all died down, I was ready to go home and pass out. I think we all were. Not only were we exhausted from the awesome party that just took place, but we were drunk – drunk off of cake, treats, and happiness – lots and lots of happiness.
But while the party was amazing, I’ll be in the position below for about a week. No more parties for me anytime soon.