There are differences people – I’m talking big differences between being a dog lover and a dog owner.
Being a dog lover, you can enjoy the cuteness and playfulness without having any other strings attached. However, as a dog owner, your tied down for life – well at least the length of the dog’s life. It’s like having a baby, without the 9 months of carrying it or the painful birth. Can you imagine that – it would be one painful experience. Anyway, being a dog owner has some birth pains and annoyances of its own. So all you dog lovers out there – I’m glad you love us dogs – that’s great, but you have no idea how much our owners actually do for us. They are the real heroes.
All you dog lovers get the luxury of sleeping in without any interruption. However, dog owners know the real struggle of waking up before the alarm clock goes off, with bags under their eyes. We start off by staring at them to get their attention. I have to pee now – no I can’t wait 10 more minutes -I don’t care that it’s your day off – I’ll just keep looking at you until you get up. They try to pretend they don’t notice us, but we are persistent animals. Plus we are freakin adorable. How can you not pay attention to us. If it goes two minutes without any movement, then we start pawing at their face. If a bloody lip or a cheek scratch comes out of it, that’s their own fault – they could have gotten up before we turned into Muhamid Ali. That will most definitely get their attention. And if that doesn’t work, the last resort is barking at everyone and everything that passes by the window or makes a noise. Oh and after you let us out, don’t even think about going back to sleep. The mail lady, garbage man, and the neighbor next door have yet to come past – you better believe we are going to bark.
You dog lovers also get a whole bed to yourself. You can sprawl out as much as your little hearts desire. However, dog owners have to learn how to function with sleeping on about 5 inches of bed. Even if you have a king mattress, you will still not get any extra room. We take it all. We’ve had rough days. What have you guys done. Nothing as tough as what we endured all day. Don’t you even think about moving us. You will lose. We will just keep jumping back on until you finally give up. If you’re lucky, we might lay on top of you. We know you like to cuddle, so we get as close as possible. Oh, you can’t breathe – our bad.
I bet you dog lovers have perfectly clean houses, and if you don’t, I’m not sure what your excuse is. However, dog owners, as hard as they try, can never keep a clean house. You will find hair everywhere in a dog owner’s home – there will be clumps in every crack and corner you could possibly imagine. When you vacuum or sweep for the third time that day, you will think you got it all. Oh, but you are so wrong. There is still more. It will appear out of nowhere. A dog owner also knows the pain of discovering dog hairs in strange places – between the toes, in their bras, and even in their dinner – yuck, I know. Plus, you’ll discover a whole other dog when you wash and dry your bed covers. ToTo may not be in Kansas anymore, but that’s because he was found in your dryer. Also, don’t even try to spray Fabreeze. The smell of wet dog and dog farts is a permanent scent in your house now – get used to it – we think it’s funny.
Finally, as a dog lover, you have all sorts of time for your friends and yourself. Heck, you’re all selfish. But dog owners know the struggle of putting themselves and their friends on the back burner to us pooches. Your friend wants to meet up for a weekend getaway – tough luck – you can’t find a sitter, so you can’t go. When you go out shopping, don’t come home unless you have something in that bag for us. We have to put up with you, the least you can do is shower us with gifts. If you have to choose between buying yourself a candy bar or us a rawhide bone, you better put down that candy bar and back away slowly. Now go get that rawhide bone – yea, there you go. Good girl. The time to spoil yourself if over. It’s all about us dogs now.
Now, come on, give dog owners a round of applause. They deserve it. They put up with a lot more than you think. Sure it’s great to be a dog lover, but dog owners are the best. They love us, they spoil us, and they sacrifice so much for us. But trust me, we appreciate it and we love our owners unconditionally.
Now, I bet all you dog lovers are ready to become dog owners after reading this – go ahead – we won’t bite, just will probably bark.